I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
