I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
