check it out our google latitudes are spooning
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
bring money and cleavage
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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