I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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