you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
