During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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