he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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