Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
