so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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