a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
