It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
