Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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