if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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