he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
