yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
