Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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