i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
