the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
