I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize