I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
