I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
