If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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