Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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