I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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