If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
