She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
