i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My cat gives me a boner
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
