honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
