So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
