so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
