I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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