too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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