I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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