we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
In America we eat man semen.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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