Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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