Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
