You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
