So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
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