Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
