dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
