My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
