i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
