also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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