If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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