so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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