He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
