I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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