Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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