I feel great
I just peed on a car
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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