The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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