dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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