Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
where does the pee come out of this thing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
