i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
