Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
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My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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