She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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