sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
