Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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