did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
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Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
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Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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