Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
