like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize