Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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