Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
