i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
