Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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