I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize