Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
