I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
