the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
