Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
